After the dust has settled

Some 11 days ago, Racingtheplanet Namibia has drawn its curtain. The post-race
emotion however, still lingers within. Pardon me. I headed for a vacation in another
country right after the race hence am a little retarded.

I reckon it.s normal to feel lost after a major event? A fellow participant emailed me,citing withdrawal symptoms for coming races. I.m fortunate I do not incline towards the same. In fact, I am eagerly looking forward to the next race although there's nothing marked on my calendar...yet.

To a certain extent, the race broadened my social circle. I would never imagine meeting a more diverse group of people than this over a short span of 7 days. Prior to the race, the competitors. bio data had been given to us. Lazy me couldn.t bother to lift a finger on a single page. Unknowingly, I have brushed shoulders with doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, CEOs and even a HK chief police inspector during the course. Ignorance is bliss. On hindsight, I thought that was better. It does not matter who or what you are. All are equal on the race field.

The race has also brought about a great deal of fresh insights to my life perspective. Until Elaine told me, I had no idea I was sharing tent with a bunch of hardcore racers. All (with exclamation) had participated in at least one RTP race. Yukako, from Japan has completed 8 such ultra-endurance races (including 2 MDS). Her boyfriend, Jesse Korea), clocked 11 RTP races (the most in the world, so far). They are crazy. I asked my tentmate, Christian Lambert, why he kept coming back for more. He said once in a while, we need to leave aside our daily chores and reset our lives. This race allows him to rethink about his priorities in life.

Being at the back of the pack enabled me to experience more camaraderie. I consider this my honor, really, to race alongside with normal beings who are neither fleet of foot nor muscle of Olympian and whose feet blister like everyone else, bodies tire after nights and days of racing...YET they exuberated cheerful spirits and remarkable sportsmanship throughout. Honestly, I forgot how many times I was moved by their gestures. For a long time in my life, I will be grateful to Cynthia who helped me pull through the night walk at Stage 1 (I never expect taking 15 hours to clear 39km. At least not on the 1st day of a multi-stage race!); and the Buttery-Morrison for their helping hands at Stages 1(the river crossings and rescuing me when I was sliding off a stone boulder.no kidding), 2 & 4 (ewww, those awful night walks over plains and hills of rocks that never seem to end). And not in the least will I forget the unwavering "I-don't-quit" fighting spirit demonstrated by the Korean team and the .You are doing great!. cheers from the ever enthusiastic volunteers despite having to start each day earlier than us but only stop work
after the last competitor returned to camp.

I am a cry-baby. When Huan Kiat commented that I am tenacious, I bet he had no idea
how many times I whined inwardly during the course. Cynthia who competed and met
Chee Meng & Clarence at Gobi March 2008 said I was crazy yet brave to sign up on my own. She exclaimed,"You mean you actually listened to those 2 guys?!" I replied I
just plain stupid and silently chided myself being 不自量力, signing up for a big race
when my fitness level vastly pales in comparison to my friends who have done this
before. My literal thoughts were,"人家做，你也要做。你算哪根葱?!" Thank God -
every now and then, there.s this angel inside my head who will battle against all the
negative thoughts. As the strife continued, the body plodded on. It's amazing how
unsynchronized one's body and mind can get when you are by yourself in a desert.

There was a near-breaking point although for the entire race, the option to drop out never cross my mind (not even after I was traumatized and delirious from the treacherous night walk from Stage 4 30-60km). During the long march between 80 to 90km, my spine started to hurt. I feared an UTI recurrence. Struggling with the heat, fatigue and pressure of not meeting the cutoff time (which I only learnt minutes after reaching 80km CP), I felt alone and helpless. Quite a shitty feeling. I knew I could only seek medical attention at the next CP, which was like 9km away? Trust me. 9km IS a LONG distance after walking 80km and deprived of sleep. At this desperate juncture, the volunteers. van drove past and stopped beside me. I think it was Emma who asked if I was alright. I swear at that very instant, the thought of hopping onto the vehicle was so darn prancing in my head. I replied feebly that I'm not okay but I.m hanging in there. "Great! Continue to hang in there, alright?" Off went the van and I'm on my own again.

"You have not been cut off yet. Even if you are gonna lose the battle, at least put on a good fight!" With that, I picked myself up and started running.with my head looking to the ground. Why look down? Heheh. This is an Ivy thing cos if I look to the front, the perceived covered distance seems pathetically short. I do this in Singapore too =P Anyway, I guessed the participants whom I overtook must have thought I went berserk. But heck! This method took me to the finish line of the long march =P

As I entered the 100km campsite with 10 other competitors, my spirits flew high
although both my ankles were strained. Never mind, I told myself. I got the Pauline
theory in my head "If I strain one ankle, I have the other good one. If both are bad, I still got my trekking pole!" Despite appearing unglamorous with a limp, I cleared the remaining 2 stages. A competitor captured my tak-glam moment as I "crawled" up a sand dune. Obviously, he took it without my knowledge and only showed me the shot during the awards banquet. I felt embarrassed but amused.

At the end point as I was happily chomping proper food (aka pizza and beer), Dilan,
Huan Kiat and I shared some post-race thoughts on what kept us going. My answer:
money and friends.

Financially, it wasn't easy for me to go for this race. And when I said I am paying my arse off, it's really quite near there.

Friends . Although I was alone during the race, I wasn't really alone. My friends were rooting for me at home, in the States and whilst climbing Everest! Even my chummy girlfriends whom I've known for more than a decade but aren't the least into running were cheering me on! It's difficult to put my exact sentiments into words. One must experience it for oneself - that immense warmth that travels straight to the heart.

Since my Stages 1 and 2 were completed way after sunset, the cybertent was closed by the time I returned to campsite. I only managed to read my mails on Stage 3 night (how apt, just before long march!). Kah Shin told me Chee Meng has been updating the group regularly. Knowing that my friends are tracking my progress and supporting me at every stage was helluva encouragement.

That night, I read my mails with teary eyes hence only captured bits and pieces of what everyone wrote. Thankfully, I recorded the essence in each mail. By daybreak, I was all psyched for the 100km. The trust that each and every one of them has in me, that I can complete the race.that really really spurred me on. When my spirits were low, I reminded myself I can.t disappoint these folks at home.

Now, I'm glad that the dust has settled.

While on my way home last evening, I passed by this path of dry soil. Expectedly, the
desert was the first thing that came to my mind and I thought to myself, "Would I do
another one?"

I smiled.